Monday, 15 July 2013

Motherhood: On growing up

Yesterday My Boy and a small group of his closest friends had an early birthday celebration - Go-Karting. They had a lot of fun, trying to avoid stuffed animals in a game called "road kill" (perfectly targeted to 7 year old boys!) and playing "cops and robbers" in flashing helmets/masks. The finale was a grand prix, which he (naturally!) won to much cheering from the others.

Friday will not only be her brother's birthday, but also the last day of Little Miss' time at pre-school. She has been busy making a thank you gift for her 'teacher' today - you can see it on Friday.

As for me, I'm still feeling uncertain about what the next few months (years?) will bring. I've said before that this feels like a time of real change. In the book Buddhism For Mothers Of School Children, Sarah Napthali describes it well:
Whether we feel like a traumatised empty-nester or a woman who finally has her life back, our sense of identity shifts: we do not feel like the same person we were a year ago.
In discussing this time Napthali goes on to say that... mothers of school-aged children we see ourselves going beyond what we ever thought we were capable of. We witness in ourselves extremes of anger that shock us, as much as we see more love in our hearts than we ever imagined would exist.
This is especially true of my relationship with My Boy at the moment. It wasn't long ago that he was a little baby, and now he is very nearly seven, has no front teeth and thinks the word "poo" is absolutely hilarious. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed with love I could squeeze him and never let go, and other times it feels I barely know him - he is so different to the infant we coo-ed over. He looks very much the same, but sometimes he doesn't feel like "my little boy" anymore at all... until he is asleep, when he immediately reverts to the gentle peaceful soul that I know.

Each new stage for my children brings with it fresh challenges for me as a mother, and I still maintain that attempting to make even a semi-decent job of it is the trickiest craft of all. What do you think? 


  1. That shot of your boy racing along is fabulous! You need to frame that. And your little miss all intent in her crafting is a sweetheart.

    1. You know, I took so many pictures and that's the only one where he isn't blurred!!! Thank you so much for your lovely comments, as always :D xxx

  2. This is a lovely post, and i think you should cherish every moment you can with your you always hear people say that they grow up so quickly!!

  3. My eldest is about to start school too; I have a little one at home, so the transition isn't so huge for me just now. What I am beginning to realise, as my older girl gets friends, and party invites etc is how much I worry about the social stuff.....does she have friends? Is she being left out? Am I doing the 'friendly mum' thing well enough. It's hard sending them out there and even when you do get to 'reclaim' a bit of you, there's just as much that will always be thinking about them! Best wishes to birthday boy, and grown up little miss

  4. Ah, I've pulled out my book now. It's probably time for a re-read.
    I find the changes quite exciting, but then every now and then it hits me - this is going so FAST! And, I'm not sure that I like it. I can say that as delightful as my little two are, my big two are getting more interesting by the day - not necessarily easier, but it's fascinating watching them become more like the adults I think they'll turn out to be.
    Your photos are beautiful :)

  5. Just wait until they become teenagers! My son is about to start his GCSE year. Goodness the changes! I suppose each phase brings new delights and challenges but when he goes to sleep he's still my baby! Guess he always will be.
    He's looking forward to embracing life and moving on (hopefully that means we are doing some bits right) but it scares me - there are so many dangers , risks and important decisions. And where does it leave me?
    Probably still washing rugby kit and asking / shouting for the bathroom / bedroom/ kitchen never to be left I'm that state again! For a while yet anyway.
    Good luck. x

  6. Cherish these days Sarah, for all too soon they disappear. As our children enter a new phase, so do our roles as parents.

    One of mine has already flown the nest, my youngest is on the brink of leaving for Uni, providing he gets his A Level grades this summer.

    Although I feel a little sad I also know that I've done my job as a parent by preparing them, to the best of my ability, for adulthood and a live of independence.

    Now if only I could persuade my 23 year old son to move out. Any ideas? Maybe I should paint his bedroom yellow

  7. The little boy is turning into a little man. They really grow up so quickly. Treasure every moment more from now on because time flies so fast. You'll be surprised the next time you think about this, they are already teenagers.

  8. Mine is about to turn two, and I'm not ready. I can't even imagine him as school-aged. I can't say I've cherished every moment because three in the morning is not my cup 'o tea, but I've cherished him through every moment.
    Happy birthday to your little guy. It looks like he had a blast!

  9. It's an almighty project that can never be unravelled and restarted! I have 3 girls; a 7yr old moving up to junior school, a 4yr old starting school and a 2yr old starting preschool. Transitions are a very strange mixture of excitement and letting go. The summer holidays suddenly feel all too short. x


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