On Fear and Callings

Last weekend I attended an event with various teachers and authors within the 'wellness and spirituality' niche - or as one of my friends would put it, that really small and awkward corner right at the back of the book shop. There was no furtive sidling on the day, though - the speakers covered everything from being a female entrepreneur to a personal goddess revolution, meditative healing to doing what you love and the basics of lucid dreaming (lucid what? Exactly!). They were loud and proud and passionate. 

There was a lot of dancing and even some chanting. Now, I have to tell you that I don't normally dance in public and have never chanted before, but there is something quite liberating about going somewhere alone, where no one knows that you don't normally behave that way. It's easier to swallow your fears (of looking stupid,  being judged, whatever) when you don't know anyone and they are all joining in anyway. You know what? It was incredibly fun! In fact, the chanting wasn't only fun, it was spine-tingling. 

Art journal page in progress

I got something from each of the very different speakers, which was a bonus as I'd really only bought the ticket to see Rebecca Campbell. Her books Light is the New Black and Rise Sister Rise (now inscribed with 'Rise Sarah Rise' by the author) have become a part of my daily routine. They are filled with poetry and prose, and questions for self-reflection - picking them up and randomly dipping in, is as good as reading from cover-to-cover.

Today, I landed on p141 of Light is the New Black:
You are already all the things that you long to be. Until you stop and acknowledge all that you already are, the world will continue to match your longing for permission with circumstances that delay giving you the go-ahead. All that you dream of, all that you yearn for, and all that you long for, you already are.... If you long to be a writer, it's because you already are a writer. If you long to be an artist, it's because you already are an artist. If you long to be a mother, it's because you already are a mother (regardless of whether you have children or not). If you long to be a healer, it's because you already are a healer. If you long to be a singer, it's because you already are a singer. 
Whatever you long for, you already are. State out loud who you are today. And just show up. Write. Create. Nurture. Heal. Sing.  By showing up every day the longing to be expressed will turn into claiming who you truly are, because what yearns to be expressed is who you truly are. 
It made me chuckle. You see, a while ago I was talking to my husband and saying that I wished I'd studied Art (instead of doing a Law degree, which was completely wrong for me and which I never enjoyed and haven't used) and had become an artist. He replied, "but you already are an artist". Until then, I had never considered myself so - frankly, I was afraid to. What would people think? But of course, I am an artist. I love to paint and create things! I do it all the time! But saying it, acknowledging it to myself, well, it felt scary. I'm still a bit afraid to own it, but I'm working on it by sharing the odd pages from my art journal here and on Instagram, just as I shared those tentative first projects when I was becoming A Knitter, I title I'll happily own, despite not doing much knitting lately.

So how does this apply to you, dear reader?

Last weekend, Rebecca Campbell talked about creativity and intuition being the voice of our soul and how we must move through fear to align with that, to bring ourselves into balance. As spring begins here in the northern hemisphere*, it's the perfect time to ask yourself what (within you) is ready to bloom? She called fears the "gatekeepers of your gifts". So I'll leave you with this prompt from Rebecca:

Ask yourself: "If I wasn't afraid, what would I do?" 
The answer is your soul's calling.  

*If you're in the southern hemisphere, what are you willing to let go of? What no longer serves you? 

Postscript: A couple of days after writing this post, I did something I'd been thinking about for a while - I gave myself an outlet to talk about my own personal development, mainly using oracle and tarot cards as a tool for self-reflection. You can find my secondary blog here and an Instagram account - where post daily queries about life and how we can create one which is more fulfilling and empowering - here

8 comments

  1. You are so right. I actually have had the same conversation with BF the other day. I told him I'd rather have done a practical course on woodworking, textile arts or graphics instead of having a fancy college degree in Biomedical sciences which I never used nor will ever use. He said the same thing: you don't need a degree to become that what you already are.

    <3.

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    1. You know, it's funny how we are the last ones to see it! xxx

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  2. I have found you again after years? You are now on my sidebar on my blog so lost no more! LOL! What great words of wisdom and even though I am old they still apply! Life is such an exciting journey. I mentioned something about having hopes and dreams and a young gal looked at me and said..."at your age?"...and I replied, "Yes, at my age and as long as I am still breathing"! Silly girl...she'll find out if she lives that long! LOL! Thank you for sharing and when I saw your drawing my first thought was, "Wow, I wish I could draw that good." Yes, you are an artist! I'm not sure what I am but I take each day as it comes and am so happy in all I do and I could not ask for more but I can still dream and hope and reach! Have a great week!

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    1. Thank you Sam! So lovely to see your name popping up in my notifications! :D

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  3. It should all come into balance, I think. The best days are the ones I feel united with myself; body, mind and soul. Keep going! :-)

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  4. Not heard of either of those books - but they sound great :) Off to check them out - thank you.

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